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6/11/2010
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Dear Lindsay,

I can be a tad obsessive about things. Everyone who knows me needs to stop laughing NOW! Once I get something in my head, I go 150% until I can follow it through to its end. This often goes on for days, weeks and even years!

I know how you feel about labels, that we tend to view ourselves and our experiences through the lens of that label or diagnosis. I understand that and I agree to a point. I was a special education teacher for a long time and I have a bit of a different point of view. Putting a name on something can help to tie together what would otherwise be a random set of behaviors. It can be comforting to know that what you or your child is experiencing is not craziness but something that others can relate to as well. The label gives a reference point, a place to start, a way to understand why something may be happening. It should never be used as an excuse for a behavior.

I bring this up because I had a psychologist suggest once that I may have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). I doubt that a formal diagnosis was ever made so I should say that I have behaviors that may be related to ADD. It has never been a problem for me but it does help to understand what has always been a big piece of my personality. I can be a bit obsessive. Just a bit.

Most people think of persons with ADD as not being able to concentrate on one thing for very long but there is another side of it. Once something captures the attention of a person with ADD, it is often difficult to let that thing go. I see this the most in my art but it is present in just about every part of my life . If I dream up a design or have a new idea for something, I feel that I must do immediately it it or I may explode. I can’t stop thinking about it. Often I can’t sleep. It causes actual anxiety until I can finally work through the idea or complete the project. I feel that way about this project right now. I am constantly writing and rewriting these letters in my head until I can’t stand it any more and need to write it out. In the end, it is helping me to put it all down on virtual paper.

Whatever you think about helping with this project it will continue in some form or another until I feel that I have said what I need to say. I dearly hope that, at its conclusion, it will be worthwhile to someone else. Of course, an email or feedback from a certain actress would keep me going in the right direction.

Love!