If you are new to this thread, please go back to http://lindentreephotograph.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-that-time-again.html to start. It will make more sense.



6/15/2010
Happy Camp
Hi again,

I meant to finish talking about goals last night but I was so tired I couldn’t even lift my arms. I completed a goal yesterday that I set 3 and a half years ago, before things went to crap at work, before I was diagnosed with FMS, before I really starting feeling the symptoms of pain and fatigue. I earned my blackbelt in mixed martial arts! It was one of the hardest things I have done, physically and mentally. I cried when it was done. Today, I am feeling the pain of the scrapes, bruises and a black eye. I have sore muscles in places I wasn’t even sure I had muscles. I earned my blackbelt!



There is a saying that goes, “a black belt is just a white belt that never gave up”. That’s absolutely the truth! The past couple of years have been a real struggle for me physically and mentally. When I started as a white belt, I was playing soccer on 3 indoor teams and one outdoor team. I was playing ice hockey occasionally and I had a very physical job teaching physical education to kids with disabilities at 6 different schools. In just 3 short years I have retired from soccer after 32 years. I haven’t played hockey at all. I am no longer teaching. I rarely go for long walks with friends and I don’t run anymore. The only thing I held onto was the martial arts and that was out of pure stubbornness. My husband and one daughter have already earned blackbelts. My youngest will earn hers this December. Giving up was never an option.
There have been so many days that have taken all I had mentally and physically to get myself to a class and many more when I wasn’t even able to do that. I passed on the blackbelt test last December and missed a belt test this spring because of being sick and not able to train properly. I also missed too many classes to be eligible. Yesterday, I earned my blackbelt! A new goal has been set. I will earn my first degree blackbelt!

I plan on attacking FMS in this same way. I am too stubborn to give in to it. I refuse to give up my life to it. I will fight my way back to a place where I feel healthy, to a place where I decide what my day will look like, not my body. The goal has been set. The specifics of the goal and the checkpoints along the way are yet to be determined. I will let you know when I figure that out.

-Julia

PS: I don’t get nervous about things like games or physical tests. I retreat into myself before hand and try to think things through, visualize, and calm myself. I played goalkeeper for many years, high school and college. It was something I learned to do before games. I did do some tapping before the physical test yesterday just to remain calm, to go into the process thinking about nothing except the task ahead. There were many points in the test where I wanted to give up. What helped me to stay focused and not think about the physical pain and exhaustion was to repeat the Oneness blessing over and over in my head. It calmed me. It helped me to let go of the heat, sore muscles and fatigue, to not worry about what was next, to share strength with the others in my group. To just be in the moment. And I was grateful for it.

If you are new to this thread, please go back to http://lindentreephotograph.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-that-time-again.html to start. It will make more sense.


6/12/2010

L,

I think I am generating some sort of negative field all of a sudden. First my cell phone stopped working and now my lap top is being weird.

Tapping is working ok for pain management. Haven’t taken any pain meds in a couple of days. Not been dealing with anything major though it seems like some sort of progress.

I’m trying to de-stress some of my life again. I went a major life simplifying campaign several years ago. Got both girls doing the same sport in the same place and cut out most of my evening activities. Things have slowly sneaking back in as the girls get more involved in their martial arts and school. Perhaps I need to re examine some of those priorities this summer. I decided not to sell t shirts at the girls’ tournament today. It causes me too much stress to watch and coach and try to run a booth all at the same time. It was nice to be able to relax a bit but not making any money doesn’t help in my campaign to go to Italy in September.

Going to try to get some sleep for a big day tomorrow.

If you are new to this thread, please go back to http://lindentreephotograph.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-that-time-again.html to start. It will make more sense.


6/11/2010
Home

Dear Lindsay,

I can be a tad obsessive about things. Everyone who knows me needs to stop laughing NOW! Once I get something in my head, I go 150% until I can follow it through to its end. This often goes on for days, weeks and even years!

I know how you feel about labels, that we tend to view ourselves and our experiences through the lens of that label or diagnosis. I understand that and I agree to a point. I was a special education teacher for a long time and I have a bit of a different point of view. Putting a name on something can help to tie together what would otherwise be a random set of behaviors. It can be comforting to know that what you or your child is experiencing is not craziness but something that others can relate to as well. The label gives a reference point, a place to start, a way to understand why something may be happening. It should never be used as an excuse for a behavior.

I bring this up because I had a psychologist suggest once that I may have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). I doubt that a formal diagnosis was ever made so I should say that I have behaviors that may be related to ADD. It has never been a problem for me but it does help to understand what has always been a big piece of my personality. I can be a bit obsessive. Just a bit.

Most people think of persons with ADD as not being able to concentrate on one thing for very long but there is another side of it. Once something captures the attention of a person with ADD, it is often difficult to let that thing go. I see this the most in my art but it is present in just about every part of my life . If I dream up a design or have a new idea for something, I feel that I must do immediately it it or I may explode. I can’t stop thinking about it. Often I can’t sleep. It causes actual anxiety until I can finally work through the idea or complete the project. I feel that way about this project right now. I am constantly writing and rewriting these letters in my head until I can’t stand it any more and need to write it out. In the end, it is helping me to put it all down on virtual paper.

Whatever you think about helping with this project it will continue in some form or another until I feel that I have said what I need to say. I dearly hope that, at its conclusion, it will be worthwhile to someone else. Of course, an email or feedback from a certain actress would keep me going in the right direction.

Love!

If you are new to this thread, please go back to http://lindentreephotograph.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-that-time-again.html to start. It will make more sense.


6/10/2010

Dear Lindsay.

Finally a day where I feel back to normal. Not that my normal is anywhere near where I want to be or where I was before. A normal day now is one where I get what I need done but not much more. Kids to school and dogs to park. To the couch for a couple of hours then pick up kids and take them where they need to go. Maybe a nap. Dinner is often an afterthought. Rarely get upstairs to do any of my art. On days that I care, it can be frustrating and boring. Today is not one of those days.

Exercise last night and a good walk at the dog park this morning has helped me immensely. Not getting weepy when I talk about the weekend. Drove all of those raw feelings out of me I guess. Or maybe I’m just too tired to worry any more. I am very sore today but it’s a better kind of sore. My biggest issue is that I have a huge lumpy bruise on the pinky side of my left hand. Tap. Ow. Tap. Ow. Tap. Ow.

Later…

If you are new to this thread, please go back to http://lindentreephotograph.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-that-time-again.html to start. It will make more sense.

6/10/2010

A Lesson on Fibromyalgia
By J.D. Hosack MS (almost)

“Fibromyalgia (pronounced fy-bro-my-AL-ja) is a common and complex chronic pain disorder that affects people physically, mentally and socially. Fibromyalgia is a syndrome rather than a disease. Unlike a disease, which is a medical condition with a specific cause or causes and recognizable signs and symptoms, a syndrome is a collection of signs, symptoms, and medical problems that tend to occur together but are not related to a specific, identifiable cause.

Fibromyalgia, which has also been referred to as fibromyalgia syndrome, fibromyositis and fibrositis, is characterized by chronic widespread pain, multiple tender points, abnormal pain processing, sleep disturbances, fatigue and often psychological distress. For those with severe symptoms, fibromyalgia can be extremely debilitating and interfere with basic daily activities.”
National Fibromyalgia Association
http://www.fmaware.org/site/PageServer?pagename=fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia effects millions of Americans, most often diagnosed in women in their 30’s and 40’s but it can effect men and children as well. There are no tests for FMS (fibromyalgia syndrome). It is often difficult to diagnose as patients report random symptoms and often all of the pieces of the puzzle are not present at any one time. Basically, it is a diagnosis of exclusion. Numerous blood tests are done and all come back normal. Often the patient is healthy but still reports pain, fatigue, depression, insomnia and often trouble concentrating or short term memory problems (commonly referred to as fibro fog). Ultimately, FMS is diagnosed as a last resort. The one and only “test” is to touch certain spots throughout the body referred to as “trigger points”. A person will react to 11 of 18 of these spots if they have fibromyalgia. The reaction is extreme for the amount of pressure applied. The feeling is often described at an electric jolt and a pain that lingers for minutes or more.
Treatment for FMS often includes anti depressants, pain medication, sleep medication, and physical therapy. Fibromyalgia is as debilitating socially as it is physically. People with FMS are often considered lazy, complainers and hypochondriacs. It is difficult to explain exactly what is wrong to someone who does not have FMS causing strain in marriages and friendships as well as at work.

I read a writer’s thoughts on FMS on a blog a while back. I wish I could remember where so I can give credit. It gave a pretty accurate description of what fibromyalgia can feel like.. Although the author nailed it, I am going to embellish a tad because I don’t think her language was quite strong enough.
Imagine you are going to have a party in your home. You invite 100 people. You have 10 friends who promise that they will come over the day of the party and do the cooking, cleaning, decorating, etc. The night before the party, you are so anxious that it takes you hours to get to sleep. Even when you do sleep, you wake every 2 or 3 hours with something that you have forgotten to do. In the morning you wake up stiff and sore. Your body aches. You have no energy. Your head hurts. And now you have a kink in your neck. One by one, your friends call to say they won’t be coming to help you. Your guests will be here in an hour and you have nothing done. Your husband is angry and doesn’t understand that you don’t feel well. All you want to do is crawl into a corner and cry. You are going to repeat this whole thing scenario tomorrow. This could go on for days or weeks. You never know when this day will come again. This is going to be your life from now on.

All of this I know from personal experience. I was diagnosed with FMS 2 ½ years ago. I was lucky. My doctor put the puzzle together relatively quickly. But that, my friend, is a story for another letter.

If you are new to this thread, please go back to http://lindentreephotograph.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-that-time-again.html to start. It will make more sense.


6/9/2010
Welcome to Crazy Town USA


Hi Again,


How am I supposed to do this in the middle of all of this chaos. Trying to get Linden ready for school. Got to be early today because I need to open the store. Jeanne comes down. What are you doing here? Ugh. Bob forgot to wake her up. She’s already an hour late. Got to get her there before the bus leaves for the Junior Rose Parade. Don’t have time to drop her and Linden. She’s got 5 minutes. Why is she in the shower? Trying to tap. Can’t concentrate. Both girls want me. Dogs are jumping on me with wet feet. Gotta make lunches. Don’t have time for this. Crap. Now my neck hurts. Why is Jeanne lecturing Linden about where to get off the bus? Doesn’t she know? No time for the park. Cynthia is going to worry. No cell phone to remind them I’m not there on Wednesdays. Got the girls to school. Hope there’s no traffic on 84. Nothing to drink? I know better than that! Anxiety! Need a parking place in the where I won’t hit anybody. Not too late. Got the store open. Neck is killing me. Nothing for pain. Subway gave me diet Coke? Don’t they know I can’t drink that! Finally I can sit and relax. Why does my hand hurt? Great. Cuts in my palm from digging my nails in. It helps in the moment but its got to stop! Where is my miracle cure?


I'm going to do some tapping while the store is empty then watch some me Bionic Woman online. Please don’t bother me unless you’re here to buy cards!

-Julia

PS I can’t leave you hanging like that. I did do some tapping on the pain this morning. My neck still stiff and sore if I move but the burning pain has gone away. Left a cold feeling in its place. Weird. I feel totally drained, kind of a drugged feeling. Linden has an audition this afternoon but now I feel like I can handle a return trip to Portland. Will try to get some excercise tonight. Tomorrow will be easier.

Linden and I went through some tapping before her audition. She said it helped and she wasn’t shy at all and even little bit silly. She was pretty excited about how it made her feel. I did some training for the run, push ups and sit ups for my blackbelt test before class tonight. It went better than I thought I would after sitting on my butt all weekend. There may be hope for Sunday after all. Feels so good to be physically exhausted instead of emotionally. Feeling really free right now. Yay for endorphins. My body will probably be telling a different story in the morning.

Take care,

-Julia

If you are new to this thread, please go back to http://lindentreephotograph.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-that-time-again.html to start. It will make more sense.



6/8/2010
Dear Lindsay,

Back at home

Hi again. Not really intending to send this letter but I am pretty stuck on this idea of writing to you so I need to put it all down so I can let it go. Maybe it will become something. Maybe I’ll get it out of my system in a couple of days when I calm down. Don’t worry, I’m not going to inundate you with emails. Don’t even know what you might think about the whole project. I’m hoping but not really expecting. Anyway, I’m home now. I’m not a nervous flyer but I was doing some tapping just to deal with, what my Dr. calls, “free floating anxiety”. The lady next to me probably thought I was loon but I’m strangely OK with that. Definitely need to find a way to disguise the process. Its pretty good until the chicken wing thing.

Things were so simple in Ontario. Well, not really because I was struggling with the process but I saw so much hope in the simplicity of EFT. Just do it. Work on it. It will eventually get better. I can do that.

Things aren’t quite that easy at home. I came home to my regular schedule of pick ups and drop offs. Three kids going six different directions. Dogs freaking because they haven’t been to the park in four days. A mail box full of over due bills and overdraft statements. Tap tap tap. I can’t drive and do this. Crap. Picking at my nails and now pinching. The picking is normal. The pinching is extreme. I think I am so much more aware of the anxiety right now. Its not your fault but I still feel pretty raw from the weekend. No way to distract myself with knitting or games on my phone. I feel like I need to lock myself in the bathroom and tap all night. One , two and three times is not going to be enough right now. Nobody here to help. No calming aura I can tap into. I feel very much alone right now. I think I shall be working on that while at the girls’ music lessons tonight.

Don’t worry.

Love,
-Julia



A quick note on self injury:

Self injury such as pinching, head banging, biting and cutting are used by people in moments of emotional distress. It’s a form of self medication like alcohol, drugs, over eating, or anything that causes an intense physical response. The basic idea is that physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain. The person will induce pain in order to focus on that sensation instead of the feelings that are troubling them. For me, I use pinching when I feel overwhelmed by feelings of anxiety. I’ve seen head banging and biting frequently when working with children with autism. Many people with autism, especially those who are non verbal, deal with a huge amount of stress, anxiety and confusion in their lives. Without a way to communicate their needs, they internalize to the point where they will either strike out or turn to self abuse to deal with those feelings. Cutting is the same idea but is the extreme. It is most often seen in teenage girls but more boys are starting to cut as well as younger children and adults. When they cut, people often take a knife or razor blade to the inside of their arms or legs and cut to the point of drawing blood. Because it is so extreme, cutting is often a sign of depression and should be addressed by a mental health professional immediately. Without help, kids will continue to cut more frequently until even that no longer works. Many cutters will eventually try to commit suicide.

The Letters

If you are new to this thread, please go back to http://lindentreephotograph.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-that-time-again.html to start. It will make more sense.

Below are the letters that I have written since attending Lindsay Wagner's Quiet the Mind, Open the Heart workshop in Ontario California.

6/8/2010
Somewhere over
Northern California

Hi Lindsay,

I am writing a first draft here and I have no idea if I will ever send it or not. First things first. I want to say thank you for what you do. Your passion and enthusiasm is contagious and your demeanor is so calm and loving that it feels safe to open up to you. I also really appreciated even the few private minutes you were able to give me. I know you understand that the intensity and tangible emotions in the room brought up more emotional stress than I normally operate under. I do know though that those things run close to the surface though and that's part of the story that brought me to you. I actually am amazed that you are able to confront all of that raw emotion and keep yourself so calm. I suppose that's what lunch breaks are for eh?

My dad and his ‘partner’ came to pick me up and I stayed with them for a day. She is a psychologist and uses EFT in her therapy with people who are open to it. Almost immediately after I started trying to explain about the workshop, she said "Oh! She's tapping” It was a good thing because I could ask some of the questions that I wasn't able to ask you and she was very helpful in helping me to process it all.

When I left the workshop, I was completely and emotionally drained. I don't know if you noticed but I didn't do any knitting on Sunday. For me to be able to sit and concentrate for any length of time without fidgeting or having something in my hands is telling in itself. I was a bit overwhelmed and will be doing a great deal of thinking in the coming days.

Sunday night, my dad and I were able to talk about some of our personal issues. I've not had a bad relationship with my dad but we don’t ever really talk much. Mostly we talk at each other. By Monday afternoon, we had fallen back into old patterns, and I found myself in a restaurant bathroom trying to work that out by tapping. I remembered your story about doing the same thing and it made me laugh. Anyway, I thank you for that also because I never would have shared anything personal with him if I hadn't just come from your workshop. On the flip side, he's much more worried about me now. Nobody really knows where I am with all of this crap.

My idea for writing about my journey came from talks with my dad and his girlfriend. I like the idea that these things that I am struggling with and what I am learning to help myself could possibly be of help to others. I will try to continue to write and maybe, someday, I will be able to share my letters.

-Julia

Learning

If you are new to this thread, please go back to http://www.lindentreephotograph.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-that-time-again.html to start. It will make more sense.

I attended the workshop myself. I tried to get friends to come but no one was able. I wasn't worried about the workshop per se but about the off time. I am shy about meeting new people and the thought of spending the weekend in a hotel room by myself wasn't all that appealing. In the end, it was a good thing that I went alone. I found I had a great deal to think about. I also went out on a limb and joined some ladies at their table for breakfast. By the end of the workshop, I had made some great new friends. The best part is that we have stayed in touch, even formed ourselves a little internet support group. These are friendships that I cherish now.

I really had no idea what to expect from the workshop itself. Much of what I read on Lindsay's home page made no sense to me. I had never heard of Oneness, tapping or EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). What I learned made a powerful impression on me. I came away with more hope than I've had in a long time. I learned something so easy yet so powerful. I learned something that was life changing, in more ways than I could have ever imagined.

After the first session, we went for a long walk to think about what I was learning about myself, just me and my camera. When I returned to my room and started looking at the images I had captured, I was amazed that my images reflected the journey that I was on. I would like to share them with you now.


Left Behind

Caged In

Discarded

Hope

Linking Together

The Goal


From this point on, my posts will be letters that I have written as I have tried to incorporate the things that I learned in the workshop, the calming of Oneness and the healing of tapping. The letters were never mailed, never meant to be mailed. I wanted to document the process in the hopes that it would eventually be something helpful to others. The personal format of a letter was the easiest for me to write. And writing to Lindsay seemed natural. Some of the letters are of my personal journey. Some are for your information. Questions and comments are more than welcome.

A Winding Road to Ontario

I have never been a terribly spiritual person. In fact, I have often 'poo-pooed' alternative medicines, metaphysical healing , holistic treatments, crystals and other 'way out there' things. I don't believe in Divine intervention or pre-destiny. That being said, there have been times in my life where I have found that events that were seemingly random have led me to a specific place and time for what seems to be a reason. One of the strongest feelings I of this kind that I have ever experienced was the convoluted, 7 year long series of random events and crazy decisions that led me to a dive shop in Corvallis Oregon in the summer of 1991. It was there that I met the man who would become my husband, partner and father of my children. Looking back on it, I don't really understand some of the choices I made but I can't for the life of me imagine how my life would have been like without them.

All of that leads me to the next series of events, each random in itself but looked at all together, along with the timing, leads me to believe that I was led to Lindsay Wagner's Quiet the Mind, Open the Heart Workshop in Ontario California on June 5 and 6, 2010. I have been in love with Jaime Sommers since I was 8 years old (really do I have to tell you who she is?!) I have always kept her with me as a friend even though I had not seen an episode of The Bionic Woman in over 20 years. Still, every now and then, I would do an internet search to see what was out there. Imagine my delight when I discovered last fall that full episodes were available online at www.thebionicwoman.com. From there, it was just a short hop to Lindsay's webpage for her seminars and workshops early this spring (www.lindsaywagnerinternational.com).

I do have to admit that the first time I read through the concepts on her webpage, I had my usual reaction, "New Age crap!" IAs the spring went on, I was becoming more and more depressed about my situation (go back to the previous post) and was becoming more and more desperate for a new direction. I found myself drawn back to the webpage more and more often. Although I didn't understand a word of it, I was becoming more and more curious about the ideas she presented and was starting to be convinced that it was something I needed to hear. (I will freely admit that the fact that it was coming from the woman who created my childhood hero was what sold it to me. I mean really? Would my friend Jaime be telling me this if it wasn't something that would help??) Unfortunately, there was no way I could afford to fly to California for a silly workshop (or just to meet Lindsay Wagner?) and the timing sucked.

Over the following weeks, random events started piling up. The weekend freed up. Bob's business trip got canceled. Frequent flyer miles were available. And, the most improbable of all, out of the blue, I received a custom order for dog images from a gentleman in Australia. Not only was the amount of the order the largest I had ever received but, it was just about exactly the amount I would need to pay for the workshop and hotel. Providence or coincidence, it didn't really matter much. I needed to go.

Next: A bit about the workshop experience and the ideas that led me to the following blog.

Its that time again!

Yep. I'm back. I've been doing some personal writing this summer and I have decided to share it with the 2 of you who actually read my blog. Before I post some of the letters that I have written, I need to let you all in on some background material.

I am 42 years old, married and the mother of 2 wonderful and beautiful girls, now 13 and 8 years old. I have always been active. I grew up swimming in the ocean, surfing and scuba diving. I played soccer for 35 years and played in both high school and in college. I played on rec teams, both indoor and outdoor, sometimes on 2 or 3 teams at a time, for over 20 years. I have played every sport from ice hockey to wheelchair tennis. I taught special education physical education for 17 years. I refereed quad rugby at a national level and coached youth soccer for many years.

For fun, I taught quilting , classes, ran a successful machine quilting business and made some award winning quilts. I have taught myself to be a decent photographer and I'm not a half bad cook. I spent my summers selling my art at farmers' markets and the Portland Saturday Market.

None of this is bragging. I just want you to know where I came from so you can understand where I am today. Three or four years ago, things slowly started to change. I was tired all of the time. I no longer wanted to play soccer and martial arts class that I had breezed through were becoming a challenge. Just getting through my day was becoming more than I could handle. I finally was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I gave up quilting because it hurt my back. I gave up soccer and coaching. I gave up my job and selling at the markets. After 2 years of being medicated up to my eyeballs for depression, anxiety, insomnia, pain and asthma, I began to feel that I was stuck in place and the thought of spending the next 40 or 50 years feeling like crap was overwhelming and depressing. I needed a path to a better place but I had no idea where to start looking. I was waiting for something to happen.

It did.

But you all will have to wait until my next post...

Tshirt designs

OK friends. We have new game to play. I want to grow the tshirt side of the biz. I will post a design. You all need to tell me, a) is it a good one - be honest here and b) suggest a quote for it. I'm looking for serious and funny quotes. Bonus points if you can make it about pet adoption. The best one will win a free shirt (assuming I ever get around to printing it)

So here is the first for your consideration.

Finishing it up and wrapping it together

Well friends, its only been a month since I was supposed to have written this post. I need to close this off because I have "the next great idea". Nothing motivates me to finish something more than a new project. Besides I know you (all?) have been waiting anxiously to hear how the project went.

OK. So the challenge ended without much drama. I did finally give in on the last day and hit the grocery store late after karate. It was St. Patricks Day and I only thought it was fair to get something to celebrate. Ended up with Bangers and Mash (totally ignoring the fact that the sausages were Italian and the mashers were pre-made. The soda bread was good.

So what did I learn from this experience. First, I learned that we have WAY too much food in this house! WAY! I didn't hardly make a dent in the freezer let alone the pantry. Turned out we didn't even eat all the food I bought for the week.

The most important lesson I learned from all of this is that my family relies a great deal on fresh fruits and other fresh foods. We ran out of fruit at about day 4. Milk, yogurt and bread were gone before the end of the 10 days. All of us were quite unhappy and a little lost what to eat instead. These are the staples that we depend on for breakfast, lunch and snacks. I will try to use the food we already have when money is tight and replace when things ease up but I can't ever cut it so thin that we have to deprive ourselves of these things.

Day 7 back on track

I think I slept more than I was awake today. Besides being a bit dopey, I am feeling better. I wouldn't say today was a high nutrition day but we stuck to the plan. The fresh fruit is gone except for some sad looking grapefruits which the kids won't touch. I think they managed on Ramen and toast. For dinner I pulled out a chicken pie I had put away several months ago. It went well with the cake and dark chocolate frosting Jeanne found in the back of the pantry.

DAY 6 - FAIL!!!

I hate to admit it friends (or friend? anyone? Beuller?) but today was a complete failure. First, in my defense, I want to say that Cadbury eggs are only available for a short time!

It was kind of a crazy day where we went from swimming lessons to gymnastics to a backhandspring clinic to the teens martial arts test. I knew lunch was going to be an issue and I was in no shape to plan ahead after another bad night so, when I stopped for cough medicine, I got the girls some "sale" Lunchables and water (and a big bottle of that amazing elixer Pepsi for myself).

Had my heart set on tacos so we started on that as soon as we got home. Wouldn't you know it, I have enchilada seasoning, chili seasoning, pot roast, Sloppy Joe, borscht and some Indonesian rice seasoning, No taco. Sent the girls to Walgreens with my last $3 cash to get me some.

I made the tacos "old school". You know how your mom made them before we worried about fat? They had that thick orange stuff dripping from them? Lots of cheese. The meat wasn't 7% ground beef and I didn't rinse it either. And you know what??? IT WAS GOOD!

I wonder what we have hiding out in the back of the candy drawer......?

Day 5

Either this is too easy or I am too sick to notice what the kids are up to. Served spaghetti tonight. Quick and easy. I am just wishing there was some more ice cream. That would be nice.

Day 4

Day 4 has been mostly a non event. I have been catnapping on the couch all day. Still not feeling well after a rough night. There was enough soup left from last night to feed all 6 hungry mouths. Jeanne made some Bisquick biscuits to go with and it was all good. Tomorrow I will need to put some thought into the meals due to karate classes and testing but we will back to our normal 5 persons. I have noticed that we are quickly running out of dessert like things. Might end up a bit sugar deprived. I wonder how long we can survive with only bad Japanese candy to sate us?

Day 3 of the 10 day food challenge

Wednesdays are crazy days and on top of that, my "little cough" has turned to a nasty bronchitis. Spent all day at the clinic but I've got what I need (and a free lunch) so things should start moving, so to speak. Tonight I had to go with quick and easy. I threw a whole bunch of root vegies (carrot, turnip, parsnip and rutabaga) plus some celery, mushrooms and broccoli into the turkey broth I made last night. We ended up eating it luke warm at 9:00 tonight. Tasted awesome! Jeanne can eat as much as she wants too. Still enough left overs to maybe serve tomorrow or at least feed me and Bob a couple of lunches.

On a side note, the pears are almost gone and I had to take a whole red bell pepper out of Linden's lunch box this morning to salvage it for the pizza.

Food Challenge Update day 1

I made a trip to Winco and managed to escape with everything I think I will need plus a raging headache. My only deviations were some sausage and baked beans for tonight, some cottage cheese and a bottle of liquid energy (Pepsi - I deserved it!) My goal was to do it all for under $100. I would have made it except for the cough medicine and the eyeliner for Jeanne (I caved!) And so it begins....oh and I double dog dare the girls to eat all this food in less than 10 days!

The Food Challenge

All right friends, here is the food challenge. I need to plan 10 meals for 5 people. I want to use mostly things I have here in the house. I can go shopping only once and need to spend the least amount of money possible. In the freezer I have steak, ground beef, chicken breast, chicken strips, ribs, tortellini, a lasagna, a chicken pie and a meatloaf. I have lots of canned goods, tomatoes, beans, broth and all that.

Here is my possibility list:
Turkey and rice soup - I have the bones from the breast I roasted last night. Need fresh vegies.
Chili - just need a couple of cans of black beans
Tacos - have the shells. just need sour cream and tomoatoes
Bean Burritos - will need to get some tortillas. can use sour cream and tomatoes from tacos
Steak - need a side and frozen vegies
Ribs - same as the steak
Chicken Strips - a desperation meal. Need frozen vegies and tater tots
Meatloaf - same as the other meats
Lasagna - need salad
Spaghetti - have all but salad
Tortellini - should have tomato soup and makings for grilled cheese. need salad
Pizza - really just need some turkey pepperoni and a vegie to go with
Pea soup - Bob would really prefer that I not go there
Bacon Sandwiches - assuming the kids have not eaten all the bread, I just need tomatoes
Borscht - bought some powdered soup mix at an Asian store. Usually make from scratch. need sour cream at least.
Stir fry - will probably use frozen vegie mix.
Duck - not sure why I bought it or what I am going to do with it but it is in play

So here we go. Some yogurt, milk and fresh fruit and we should be good to go. Ideas and thoughts are welcome. I will keep you updated on the progress.

Black Bean Burritos

I can't think of anything I want to write about right now so I figured I would talk about my dinner. I might also throw in a couple of gratuitious photos so beware!

Photo alert!

This recipe happens to be another of my "I'll figure it out when its done" creations. The kids love it and beg for me to make it. Its a great one for busy nights as it only takes a few minutes. As always, measurements are suggestions.

2 cans black beans, drained and rinsed

1 cup water

1 small onion, chopped

1 can green chilies (optional, as in when I have some, they go in)

1 packet burrito seasoning (or you can figure that out yourself but that defeats the purpose of quick and brainless)

brown rice, made ahead or leftover

large flour tortillas

toppings of your choice. sour cream, avacado, tomato, and cheese are a must for me.

throw onions and chilies in with a bit of oil. add beans, water and seasoning packet. Turn up heat and boil water off until fairly thick. Spread rice and beans in tortilla and add your toppings. Plan on a knife and fork because, if you stuff them like I do, you'll need it. Bon Appetit!