The Letters

If you are new to this thread, please go back to http://lindentreephotograph.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-that-time-again.html to start. It will make more sense.

Below are the letters that I have written since attending Lindsay Wagner's Quiet the Mind, Open the Heart workshop in Ontario California.

6/8/2010
Somewhere over
Northern California

Hi Lindsay,

I am writing a first draft here and I have no idea if I will ever send it or not. First things first. I want to say thank you for what you do. Your passion and enthusiasm is contagious and your demeanor is so calm and loving that it feels safe to open up to you. I also really appreciated even the few private minutes you were able to give me. I know you understand that the intensity and tangible emotions in the room brought up more emotional stress than I normally operate under. I do know though that those things run close to the surface though and that's part of the story that brought me to you. I actually am amazed that you are able to confront all of that raw emotion and keep yourself so calm. I suppose that's what lunch breaks are for eh?

My dad and his ‘partner’ came to pick me up and I stayed with them for a day. She is a psychologist and uses EFT in her therapy with people who are open to it. Almost immediately after I started trying to explain about the workshop, she said "Oh! She's tapping” It was a good thing because I could ask some of the questions that I wasn't able to ask you and she was very helpful in helping me to process it all.

When I left the workshop, I was completely and emotionally drained. I don't know if you noticed but I didn't do any knitting on Sunday. For me to be able to sit and concentrate for any length of time without fidgeting or having something in my hands is telling in itself. I was a bit overwhelmed and will be doing a great deal of thinking in the coming days.

Sunday night, my dad and I were able to talk about some of our personal issues. I've not had a bad relationship with my dad but we don’t ever really talk much. Mostly we talk at each other. By Monday afternoon, we had fallen back into old patterns, and I found myself in a restaurant bathroom trying to work that out by tapping. I remembered your story about doing the same thing and it made me laugh. Anyway, I thank you for that also because I never would have shared anything personal with him if I hadn't just come from your workshop. On the flip side, he's much more worried about me now. Nobody really knows where I am with all of this crap.

My idea for writing about my journey came from talks with my dad and his girlfriend. I like the idea that these things that I am struggling with and what I am learning to help myself could possibly be of help to others. I will try to continue to write and maybe, someday, I will be able to share my letters.

-Julia